


Tidy Your Hair, Young Man

by RedWritingHood



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 05:37:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12698451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedWritingHood/pseuds/RedWritingHood
Summary: Superman has perpetually messy hair. Batman is inordinately annoyed by this.





	Tidy Your Hair, Young Man

**Author's Note:**

> Here, have something pleasantly funny. I hope it makes your day (or night) a little more nice.

Bruce thinks that part of the reason why nobody recognizes Clark as Superman is because Superman's hair is always boyishly wind-tousled, completely unlike Clark's style which somehow manages to be both neat and messy. The glasses-- completely useless if Clark actually had poor vision-- work to dull the too-deep blue of his eyes. Superman is bright, noticeable as the sun itself. Clark is quiet, unobtrusive. The clothes the reporter wears do him no favors, except to keep him inconspicuous. Superman is a walking ad for what you'd like your man to look like. Clark is...how did Lois describe him, once? Oh, yes. A 'hunky farmboy nerd-dork'.

Ah, Ms. Lane. Your way with words is, as ever, articulate, if not quite depicting a dignified image.

Batman is brought out from his musings when a familiar voice asks, "What are you thinking about?"

Bruce, of course, knew the moment Superman entered the room, but only now turns to look at him now that he's said something.

Superman's hair is blown back, sticking out at random angles. A rogue lock of hair curls over his forehead. He doesn't appear to notice, but if he's not careful, that cowlick will stab him in the eye one day. Bruce's eyes narrow. He grunts and turns back to the Watchtower computer. "Go get a damn comb."

"A...comb?" Clark repeats, bewildered.

Bruce doesn't reply, opting to tap on the keyboard in silence.

The next time he sees him in the tower, Bruce hands him a comb, says, "Use it," and walks away.

Clark watches him go, bemused. He uses the comb, though.

* * *

 

Superman is looking up some files on the Watchtower computer when he feels a tug on his hair. Someone's brushing something through his locks. Clark tilts his head back and blinks up at Batman.  
Clark can honestly say that this is an unexepected occurence. "Is this...a particular peeve of yours?"

Bruce grunts and continues combing his hair. "If you won't do it..."

"Then you'll do it for me? Thanks, mom," Clark says dryly.

"Quiet. Don't move your head."

Clark purses his lips and wonders if Batman knows that he sounds like a grumpy nanny when he uses that tone.

* * *

 

Hal enters the room. He stops. Says, "What--?" Blinks. Reaches out blindly to grab at Flash, coming in behind in. "Do you see this? Is what I'm seeing real?"

"You mean Batman combing Superman's hair?" Barry's seen it before so he's not surprised, but he can understand Hal's disbelief, although he is being a bit dramatic about it.

"Why," Hal says blankly.

"I guess Batman's maternal instinct was roused," Barry replies.

Hal rightfully doesn't respond.


End file.
